“Shelly! Carrots!”Shelly came skipping out, her blonde curls a windblown mess, a bowl of popcorn in one hand, two buds in the other.“Hands full. Bill!” she yelled, spitting popcorn and tossing the bottles towards me before attempting to wrestle the hat away, scattering popcorn everywhere.“Baa!” Bill protested at being robbed of his dinner before starting in on the popcorn.“Bad goat,” she chided him, hustling back into the kitchen for another batch of popcorn.“Baa!” Bill responded which, I am fairly certain, translated to ‘fuck you’.Eventually, I got the fire going, Shelly returned with fresh popcorn, oreos, and carrots for Bill.“They should be waking up about now. I wish I could see their faces when they discover we’ve stolen their stupid goat.”“Assholes had it coming.”I wasn’t the only one with a beef against Sigma Alpha Nu. Shelly’s ex belonged to the frat too.We each finished off a couple of brews and sat by the fire for a bit, talking over each other, laughing, raging, until the. She would be presuming.The phone rang and Sharon regarded it malevolently. "Never give you a moment's peace," she thought. "If it's a cold sale..."She picked it up."Yes?" she said flatly."Hello, my pet! How's your daughter?" Richard!" she screamed. "Oh, you darling man! Were your ears burning?" No, should they have been?" Not really, I suppose. I wasn't talkin' about you: just thinkin' how much I wanted to talk to you an' then there you are. Oh, thank you for ringin'. I needed so bad to talk to someone and then it was only you I wanted to talk to an' then I didn't think it was right just to ring you up out of the blue and sound off." Well, I rang you so tell me." Well, when I got 'ome, Louise 'ad a bit of a temperature so I went an' made 'er lie down. I looked in on 'er a couple of hours later an' it 'ad gone up an' she 'ad a sick 'eadache. I thought: 'It's the wrong time of year for flu so I'm takin' you to the doctor, my girl.' So I did. 'E was ever so nice to us but couldn't nail.
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